BOO… The Season – Halloween, Día de los Muertos, the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain.
What a better time to talk about fears. The last write-up “Juxtaposition between Goals & Fears” had more than few DMs and coaching sessions on its wake, expounding on the element of Fear.
Some studies show that up to 90 percent of children between the ages of 2-14 develop at least one specific fear, with fear of animals, the dark, or imaginary monsters or ghosts being among the top issues. Most of these fears diminish over time, or are they replaced by someone else. Is it Chucky, Pennywise, Leatherface, Michael Myers, Freddy Kruger, Zombies etc… or is it loss of income/job, making decisions, commitments, losing people and dreams, aging, parenting etc.
Fear is an emotion that overrides our intelligence. It stops us from moving toward our goals, and it plays havoc with our quality of life. People often fail to recognize the impact of fear—sometimes because we don’t even use the word.
Fear is an important human emotion that can help protect you from danger and prepare you to take action, but it can also lead to longer-lasting feelings of anxiety. Findings ways to control your fear can help you better cope with these feelings and prevent anxiety from taking hold.
There are many moments I am paralyzed by fear, self-doubt, action steps, loss, commitments, running (yes, it’s true) and many more. Time and again if I take a step back, I do remember to:
Face Fears First …
A quick google search of the phrases “overcome your fears” and “how to be brave” yields a flood of listicles giving you tips on how to master your fears. Most of these articles seem to suggest the same thing: it starts with Face Fears First.
The overall idea is that courage is not a lack of fear but lies in being vulnerable enough to admit that you do have fears. It is only when you acknowledge your fears and develop a sense of self-awareness that you can start working on confronting and overcoming them.
Fears help you develop resilience. Resilience comes from facing your fears. You become better than your surroundings and transform yourself above the fear and into bigger and bigger success. … Face fears first and learn to rise to face whatever is in front of you.
Steps to face fear:
As in running parallels to life, when you are at the start line or life throws a curve ball…
Step 1: Accept It
Fear never goes away. It doesn’t matter how strong you feel or are—if you can lift 350 pounds, if you have 350 million dollars in the bank, if I have run X number of long distance, the next marathon ???? —you are still going to be afraid. To a large degree what you accomplish in life, what you are capable of, is going to depend on how you deal with fear. “Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.’ -Marie Curie
Step 2: Identify It
To leverage fear into courage, you have to be honest with yourself every time you’re afraid. If you don’t admit your fears to yourself, you can’t leverage them into courage. Look for the points in your life where you’re afraid and see them as opportunities to learn to deal with fear. I have run a many long distances, but it’s all relative, each run or a chapter in life would be unique, bringing on its own challenges
Step 3: Feel It
The greatest mistake people make when dealing with fear is to try to think their way through it. They analyze what triggered it, or start “playing chess,” projecting out what might happen next, and how they’ll deal with it. This doesn’t diminish fear; it actually increases it because there’s no way to outsmart the universe. Instead of trying, do the counterintuitive thing with fear: let yourself feel it. Then you’ll be ready to move to the next step.
Step 4: Face It
Have you ever had one of those dreams where a dark, scary figure is chasing you? If you run away, it always gets much more terrifying. If you turn around and face it, something good almost always happens. It’s the same with fears in your waking life. “Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.” -Judy Blume
Step 5: Practice It
Try to think about confronting fear as a skill—something you can practice and get good at, like ping-pong, or knitting, or anything else. This will make your fear seem less dramatic, and you’ll feel more in control of it. You can also gain a lot of satisfaction in the process. “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” -Dale Carnegie
Some other tips for overcoming your fears include:
Embrace your failures – failure is a part of life, so you might as well use your failures as opportunities to learn.
Train yourself to deal with discomfort – getting used to managing uncomfortable situations will go a long way in helping you get past your fears and anxieties.
Treat yourself with kindness – your self-esteem plays a substantial role in how you deal with fear, so it is important to make a habit out of speaking to yourself in a positive light.
Practice mindfulness – learn to stay in the present and look into exercises that enhance your ability to focus on the moment.
We all have fears, but it’s how we deal with them that makes the difference. Hope the tips in this blog will help you take your fear head-on and live a more fulfilling life and end with these quotes:
“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.” — Rudyard Kipling
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” -Henry Ford
“Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.”’ — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” — Japanese Proverb
#courage; #faceyourfears; #humanemotions #fears; #Beingstrong